


Growth

by sugarandspace



Series: Past moments through the eyes of present-day Malec [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Embedded Images, Episode: s01e08 Bad Blood, M/M, Personal Growth, Post-Canon, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Alec and Magnus witness a moment from their past
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Past moments through the eyes of present-day Malec [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651138
Comments: 6
Kudos: 120





	Growth

**Author's Note:**

> Why are they in the past? Who knows! Not me! Just don't question it, okay? :D

“I was a different person.”

“No,” Magnus said gently, touching Alec’s elbow while they continued to watch the younger version of Alec punch the bag like his life depended on it. “You are still the same person. Still driven, protective, and determined to do the right thing. You’re still the person I fell in love with. You’ve just grown.”

“I was so scared back then,” Alec said. Magnus looked at his husband - even though Alec’s eyes were on his younger version, the look was aimed somewhere far. The words he’d just said were clear proof of how he’d grown. Young Alec would never have admitted that. Young Alec would never have dared to be vulnerable.

“Scared?” Magnus asked, encouraging Alec to keep going even though he already had an idea of what he meant.

“Yeah,” Alec said, reaching down to hold Magnus’ hand and squeezing it tight. “Terrified.”

Magnus didn’t speak, just returned the hold, allowing Alec to gather his thoughts.

“I was scared of a lot of things,” he eventually said. “Of people finding out about my sexuality or about my feelings for Jace. Back then I believed that if the truth ever came out, my life would be ruined. But there was also a small part of me that was terrified of the opposite. The future I could see if I managed to keep my secret wasn’t much happier. I didn’t believe there was a possibility for me to have a happy life. If I managed to keep it all hidden, if I found myself a wife and got the position of the head of the institute, I would be tied to a life of lies. There wasn’t a version of the future where I would be happy.”

“I remember you got engaged to Lydia after the conversation we had on this day.”

“I did,” Alec agreed, grimacing a little. “My life had just been turned upside down after I found out that my parents had been in the Circle. I felt betrayed. I felt like I needed to do something. Until then, I had done all I could to please them, to move forward on the path they’d set for me. I needed to do something drastic and do it all by myself. I wasn’t quite ready to do something about my fears, so I decided to work towards a more tangible goal of getting the Institute. I know I ended up hurting you in the process. I’m sorry.”

The past versions of them were currently having a conversation but neither of them paid much attention to that. They’d already had that conversation once, and this one felt more important. 

“I understand your reasoning,” Magnus replied. “And look at us, all ended up well in the end.”

“That’s true,” Alec said, a small smile rising to his lips.

“I’m proud of you,” Magnus said gently. “I’m proud of you for not settling on that, but for being brave and shaping your own future.”

“I had some help,” Alec said, nudging his shoulder against Magnus’.

“Maybe,” Magnus admitted, “But I was merely offering you an option. You were the one who decided to choose it. Probably for the first time in your life you truly chose yourself, and I’m so proud of that.”

The two of them from the past headed to their separate ways but present-day Alec and Magnus continued to stand there, hands held tight and happier than either had dared to hope.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me from [tumblr](https://sugarandspace.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/sugarandspace_)!


End file.
